I'm so over.

People hating on my opinions. I look at it like this, what I think is what I think, and what you think, is what you think. If it doesn't affect me, I don't give a shit. Go ahead and think what you want, and I will then do the same.
I get frustrated that when I express my opinions on drugs, people talk shit. I'm sorry tweaker drugs ruined my life, I think your stupid if you do it, and I don't respect anyone who does it. Yeah I'm gonna put myself above you, because GET THIS, I am. Well, at least in that respect I am. I admit it, I have done lots and lots of wrong in my life, but I know there is one thing I will never screw up on, and that is tweaker drugs. I don't have a problem saying no. I wont say I'm sorry for calling you a low life, If your a tweaker, then sorry honey but in my eyes your low and dumb. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone but I do think that my decisions are. I think it's gross. Don't ever bring it around me, and don't judge me on what I think because I've seen terrible, disgusting, gross things come out of it and I'm not willing to put myself on that level or associate with anyone who is willing.

Just saying, It was embarrassing.

Embarrassment is an emotional state experienced upon having a socially or professionally unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss of honour or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the embarrassing situation.

Most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, hmm.
Well, just the other day I'm at work. I was just getting back from my lunch and figured well, before I go back to work, I think I'll pee. So I go in the bathroom, pull down my pants and begin to pee. The next thing I know, one of my male co workers walks in. I see him and immediatly cover myself of course. I say "oh shit" and he turns around, and doesn't close the door. UGH right? That's what was running through my head. Then, I yell "uhh, can you at least shut the door?" He comes back, no words spoken and shuts the door. Then I think oh nooo, what just happned? As I'm taking it all in, I keep thinking how am I going to face this situation. How awkward. So I just go out, and as soon as we lock eyes again, we laugh. Although inside I'm freaking out. I seemed to laugh it off, and now I'm not that embarrassed. I sure was when it first happened though. I guess now that I think about it, it would't have been so embarrassing if it would have been a complete stranger, but when it's not it's super embarrassing because you have to go face them.

Another time, hmmm.
Well, I worked at a camp one summer, it turned out to be one of the best summers of my life. At the time it was staff training week and it was one of the last days so we were at ski beach kicking back. One of the guys had a boat and he was taking people out intertubing. I decieded I wanted to do it. Even though I can't swim very well, ha. So i go out there, get on this blow up thing and the boat starts to pull me around on this little string. At first I was fine, and then he started going faster and faster. Scared the crap out of me. (and just to clear up everything else, I had lost a little bit of weight from being sick, and my bathing suit was just a little loose.) Anyways, I happened to hit a large wave and fly into the air. For some reason, my bottoms got caught on intertube and when I flew up, they didn't go with me. Everyone on the boat probably saw my white ass fly through the air. So embarrassing. Then, once I landed I had to go fish for them in the water somewhere. I found them, and put them back on. When the boat came back for me, everyone was laughing, and making jokes. Everytime I go back to camp I still get reminded of it.

As for all the other embarrassing things that have happened to me, I figured they are all normal. For some reason the oddest things always happen to me. I mean theres been the stomach gurgle in a quiet classroom, the toilet paper stuck to your shoe, I just sat in gum moments, but those happen to the best of us. I've learned if you just laugh it off, the embarrassment goes away quicker, and no one really thinks about it in a negative way

If you really knew me.

I see this show on MTV, and it entices my curiosity. I mean I'm not dumb I know one day expressing your feelings to your peers isn't going to change the whole school, or all the people that I have attend. I mean if people don't realize that other people don't have feelings then they are ignorant and selfish. Maybe it will open those peoples eyes. I don't know but what I was thinking about was writing this, and saying "if you really knew me" statements. In return, if you feel like it you could write something back. I think it would be interesting to see, and know. Maybe I can understand something about you that I didn't know before, and maybe you can know something about me that you didn't know.
So here goes.
If you really knew me, you would know that I live with my best friend. I live there because I was bounced from different foster homes and I fell in love with her family.

If you really know me, you would know that my mom passed away three years ago of a drug over dose and I haven't been able to move past it, but then again I realize that no one ever gets a past a loss they just find a copeable way to deal.

If you really knew me, I have terrible anxiety, I worry about things that may never happen.


If you really knew me, you would know that I make jokes so I can have a smile on my face I'm scared to lose it.

If you really knew me, you would know that I struggle with loosing a friend.

If you really knew me, you would know that I my best friend is my sister and friend. She means the world to me.

If you really knew me, you would know that I feeling like an idiot sometimes, because I tend to say things before I think about them.

If you really knew me, you would know that I had to grow up at 6 and take care of my mom.

If you really knew me, you would know that I grew up without a father, that I just met his side of the family and him last month

If you really knew me, you would know I try my hardest to do the right thing

If you really knew me, you would know how much I hate tweaker drugs, and rolling. I think it's disgusting and stupid.

Please write your own "if you really knew me" statements(: