Speak Out. It's good for you.

I keep running into situations in my life where I feel like I have to back down. In a way I think it's good to back down, and be soft spoken, but on the other hand I think people should be able to speak out about what they feel. Speaking out in the right way not only helps other people realizing things they might not have before but also helps the person who is speaking out to realize if they sound stupid =, smart or just insane. Sometimes I feel like when I speak up, that I was completely wrong, or what I'm saying isn't relevant. It's good to choose your battles wisely but you should say what you feel. Say what you feel so loudly that everyone around you knows. Tell it like it is. Let the world know what your feelings are when you do you will feel alot better. When something is hidden inside it becomes a demon and haunts you. Then, when it finally does decide to surface, it surfaces in a horrible way where things are blown out of proportion, and things are said that hurtful in hurtful ways. Let how your feel come out like oxygen, for it is a necessity like oxygen. If the people around you know that you are an honest person and they know what page your on then you will not have anything inside you just prodding to get out. It will not be the last thing on your mind before you go to bed, it will not come to you when your on a long drive home and it will not kill you slowly internally.

Censorship in the workplace? Hell No.

"We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people." John F Kennedy


Fourteen million employees just over one-third of the online workforce in the United States, have their Internet or e-mail use under continuous surveillance at work. Worldwide, the number of employees under such surveillance is at 27 million, just over one-quarter of the global online workforce. The "online workforce" is those employees who have Internet and/or e-mail access at work, and use it regularly.Over the past few years, employee monitoring has been increasing about twice as fast as the number of employees with Internet access. The online workforce in the U.S. as measured by Nielsen//NetRatings has grown by about 33 percent per year, to 40.7 million employees using the Internet in January 2001 from 30.6 million in January 2000. When an employee isn't even using "a company accessory" they still have the possibility of being monitored. Is this right? Should our employers be able to do this? Is this just another ploy to be controlled by the ones above us? Or is it simply just to make sure all things at work are done for work? Who knows.
Personally, I think monitoring an employee on a company computer isn't wrong. If you are an employee and you are using a company computer to work, then you have no business doing personal things. However if you are using your own personal blackberry to email back your friend, you shouldn't be subjected to monitoring. Your life outside of work should not be any of your employer's business unless you choose to fill them in. Unless of course your outside life begins to effect your readiness for work, then why should anyone have the right to question it?

Westboro Baptist Church.

This church was brought up to me in government. This church is unrelentless in their pursuit to hurt others. It is amazing to hear them call themselves a church and then to see what they have done is clearly not God's will. They call their protests "ministries." They will protest with signs Reading "God hates fags" or "God hates the world." They protest at schools, other churches, and say unbelievable things. This church was established in 1955 by it's pastor Fred Phelps. They still exist today as a primitive baptist church. They have conducted over 40,000 protests against homosexuals and sin in numerous places.
One protest by them really surprised me. They went to a funeral of a marine who had died in Iraq. They held sign that said things like "thank God for dead soldiers", and "thank God for 911." "The reason they protest at military funerals is because the deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq are punishment for the United States' tolerance of homosexuals"(Fred of Westboro). The courts tried to decide what was going if these messages were against the law, because they were so provocative, or if they were protected by the first amendment. The father of the one of the marines sued Fred for emotional distress and won. Hallelujah. Thank god for justice right?
I cant help but think that isn't the belief of Christians that God gave his one and only son to us so he could die for our sins, and by asking him into our hearts that we are forgiven. In this respect, one could be homosexual and ask for forgiveness, and be forgiven. Another thing that I don't understand is the fact that Christians including baptists have the belief that God has unconditional love for everyone he made (all of his children) and that he loves us even though we sin. If this is true, then Westboro isn't practicing what they preach, and what they preach is wrong because they say the they follow the bible exactly. The bible also says that one sin, no matter how small is equal to the worst sin anyone could commit. All sin is considered equal in God's eyes. So if judging someone, is considered a sin and homosexuality is considered a sin, aren't they the same. So isn't Westboro committing just as bad of a crime as someone who is gay?
Who are we as people to think we are better than someone? Who is this church that goes to funerals and causes emotional distress to people who are grieving over their DEAD love ones. It hurts enough to lose someone you love without having people saying thank God that person is dead. This is so so so wrong to me. I don't believe this people will come anywhere near heaven, the things they are saying are evil, and judgemental. I have to agree with the church many critics, and counter protesters "may God have mercy on this church, and the people who believe it's practices."

Summer Schwagg!(:

This Saturday at Pac Sun, we are having some huge deals. On top of that some really fun stuff that is definitely worth coming in for. Get this, the first 50 people that walk in are getting hooked up with a prize. These prizes aren't lame either. Were giving away brands like O'neil, Hurley, fox, Volcom, Roxy, and much more. If you are one of the first 50 to show up, you are GUARANTEED one of these awesome items. Also, you could win a trip to somewhere exotic, like Switzerland. On top of that we are going to be giving away free music downloads.
The attitude is going to be off the hook that day, we are having a band and all of the employees are super stoked to help you find what you need to kick off your summer. Some super sweet deals on bathing suits, board shorts, flip flops and everything. It's totally worth coming up to Viejas for this Memorial Day weekend. Make a day out of it, I'm sure other stores will be having some cool discounts. Plus you've got the casino(:

Let me know if I start to sound crazy.

I tend to wonder what the people the people I care about think of me. I'm self conscious, impatient, and moody. I say things I shouldn't, and I try to laugh my problems off. I try to put on a profile to the public that I'm doing great, and that my life is great. In truth I am scared to death to be alone. I'm scared of rejection, and I'm afraid of trying and never succeeding.
I have goals that some say are unreachable for me. I want to complete 6 years of college and get a masters in forensic pysch. At that time I hope to get married, have kids, own a house and grow old with my family. I hope to one day look out on a beautiful beach with my feet in the sand, and know that I am truly satisfied. I want to be educated in every way. When people ask me questions, I want to have an answer. I want people to look to me for guidance, as well as help. I don't want to be perfect, but I want people to think I'm close.
Its scary to think I actually have no idea at all where I will end up in life. What I do know, is that I will never ever give up. I will strive for my goals even when they seem the farthest away, and I'll never let anything take control of the person I am.

Your only as good as the people you associate yourself with...WRONG

This statement is completely ignorant. This statement blankets everyone, basically implying that no body has a mind of their own. Not saying that any one person is better than another, but I am saying that just because a friend makes a bad decision or has a bad reputation doesn't mean that you will do that too. I think friends can be complete opposites. There are some friends I know I can trust no matter what through anything, and there are others who I would trust as far as I could throw them. It just doesn't make sense to me. Whoever said this obviously didn't have any friends.
Although I do believe that your friends have a strong influence on your decisions, I think we also can think for ourselves and if we make a mistake it should be known as OUR mistake and OUR burden. Not the friends. I guess I could be completely wrong. It seems like when my friends make a bad decision though that I usually recognize it and almost learn a lesson not to ever try that. Life is trial and error, and we will make mistakes our own way, and learn in our own. There is no one that is the exact same as someone they associate with nor is someone the same or better than another.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Right?

I'm getting closer and closer to the day. To the day that I have worked towards for 4 years of my life. But, as the specail date approaches, I find myself more scared of it than excited. It's graduation. I mean don't get me wrong, knowing that I will never return to high school is such an amazing feeling, but I know that so much more than just high school is going to disappear from my life. So much responsibilty comes with graduating. I don't feel like I am not responsible now, but now there is no more excuses. There will be no back up of high school. I can literally spend my time however I like. I wont have to answer to anyone as to why I didn't go to class and I will no longer be "pushed" to do well. I'm scared of knowing that I have to pay rent and I have to pay bills, and I have to finally take full care of myself. I have to make good decisions, theres no more room for screw ups, and no one will be angry at me if I do screw up. If theres one thing I have learned in life, it is that nothing is permanet. And to be honest, I'm a little afraid of the changes graduating might bring. I don't think I'm ready for a huge change like that. I have always fallen back on school to be the permanet, unchanging part of my life. Even though it's not fun, and I pretty much hate the atmostphere, there is so much to it that makes me content. Granite Hills feels like my home. I have moved so many times, but through all of the tears and all of the hardships, I end up back at Granite Hills. What happens when I don't have that backdrop?
On a more positive note, I guess I just have to take things one step at a time like I have always tried to do. I will have to realize that being a child is no longer going to be accepted, and that I must grow up and start focusing on who I want to be one day. I will take this day with pride, and know that there is better coming up for me beyond high school. Realizing that change isn't always bad and might not break me down, and knowing that I have many great supportive people in my life should make it easier. I suppose I should put all of my anxiety's aside and move on.

Aids Walk

Me and a few co-workers are going to an event that is trying to raise awareness on AIDS. Sitting bored today I was thinking, I really don't know that much about AIDS just the common steorotypes, and often misconceptions. I decieded to do some research, heres what I found.

Aquired Immune Defiency Syndrome:
1)The HIV virus is a germ that attacks certain types of white blood cells in human blood.
2)This virus attacks a person's immune system and damages their ability to fight off some diseases.
3)Without a functioning immune system to ward off other germs, the person is vulnerable to several infections caused by bacteria, fungi, other viruses, and malignancies. These may cause life-threatening illnesses.
4)Some of the most common illnesses are pneumonia, meningitis, and tuberculosis.
5)Individuals may also develop certain types of cancers such as Kaposi's sarcoma, lymphomas, Hodgkin's disease, and multiple basal cell carcinomas.
6)Treatment of HIV can delay damage to the immune system and progression to AIDS.

You cannot get AIDS from,
1)Touching, social kissing, coughing, or sneezing
2)Contact with eating utensils, water fountains, toilet seats, telephones, typewriters, etc.
3)Teardrops, saliva, or sweat
4)Using facilities such as public swimming pools, restrooms, or gymnasiums
5)Being close to other people such as on a crowded bus, in a classroom, or restaurant

AIDS is commonly spread by,
1)Sexual intercourse (vaginal, anal or oral) with an infected person
2)Blood contamination (for example, sharing needles for intravenous drug abuse)
3)Mother to Child (during pregnancy, during birth, and during breast feeding)

There is no known cure for AIDS, only treatment.

Lets talk sex then

I remember being young and being completely naive to anything sexual. I knew that sex meant humping and what not but it really took me until adolescence to comprehend a real sexual relationship. I keep thinking that there is so much more to a sexual relationship then the actual act of sex. Foreplay is important, for the mind to prepare for sex. People say that "no strings attached sex" is impossible, this I do not agree with. I am not one for a relationship, so I have experience with the "no strings attached sex" and I know fully that it is possible. Although I am in a relationship at the moment I always think that if I wasn't I would still continue to have sex. There is no such thing as not being in a relationship and not being able to have sex. Who said that sex with no attachments was slutty? Why have we as loving, caring sensual beings put such strain on a sexual relationship? If you’re careful, what is the harm? I know it is wrong, and immoral and “bad” to think about sex in that way, but why? Nakedness has suddenly become dirty; the human body is now something to hide from. Unless you are the model image of the body, then you are not supposed to be forward when it comes to your body. Truth be told, we are all made differently and ingeniously. There is nothing wrong, or dirty or immodest about our bodies, nor the things we do with our bodies. It is nothing to be ashamed of.